Barry Clarke (Tr 43) – career Shell man, OHRFC devotee and Past President of the Haileybury Society

The Haileybury Society is saddened to learn of the death of Past President and former Trustee, Barry Clarke (Tr 43) who has died age 89 on 12th February 2019. Below we publish an edited version of Barry’s eulogy delivered by his son, Jonny, at his funeral.

Barry Clarke was renowned for his well phrased and entertaining speeches, often with a poetic theme and, despite suffering the effects of Parkinsons in recent years remained good-humoured throughout. He was a devoted husband, a beloved father, grandfather and great grandfather, a gentleman who was respected by all who knew him. He was a steadfast friend, a counsellor and a mentor, a joiner and a contributor, and a dedicated Team Player who could always be relied upon to do the right thing.

Escaping the war at Haileybury

Born in Surbiton in June 1929 to parents Guy and Christine, and younger brother to Michael, he was educated at Arundel and Shrewsbury House before going on to board at Haileybury, in part to get away from the dangers of bombing in London but also because his Uncle Frank had attended Haileybury.

His life-long association with the OH Rugger Club started before the war when he went to watch Uncle Frank play at Ruxley Lane. One of Barry’s most endearing qualities was his generosity and desire to do the right thing; his mother says he used to send home his sugar rations from school so that she could make the family Christmas cake. Perhaps it was spending these formative years at boarding school when war was raging at home and abroad that forged the lifelong friendships he made there and his connection to the school.

Following Haileybury, Barry, like all men of his generation, undertook two years of National Service. Ever honest, he did not pretend he might stay in the army afterwards in hope of becoming an officer, but took his place alongside the regulars in the Royal Artillery in Norfolk. He genuinely appreciated the experience this gave him, working alongside people from all walks of life, giving him an understanding that helped so much in his managerial career.

The start of a long and successful career

He would have loved to have gone to University and perhaps studied history or literature, something he made up for decades later becoming involved in the University of the Third Age and joining history, writing and book groups. Conscientiously, he instead knuckled down to a career, undertaking a 5-year accountancy course by correspondence whilst working full-time time as an articled clerk with Peat Marwick Mitchell & Co. In all likelihood, he enjoyed many of the same pleasures of university life through his keen involvement in the Surbiton young conservatives and joining the OH Rugger Club as a player and eventually captain.

It was during this period and at these great love-match institutions that Barry met and fell in love with Sue. She remembers a very favourable first impression, with Barry arriving mid-way through a YC meeting after studying at home, and walking straight to the front to join the debate. Just four weeks after finishing and passing his final accountancy exams, Barry proposed to Sue the day before Valentines Day and they were married the following year. The couple spent their early married life in the heart of London, living in a flat at Dolphin Square, Pimlico which was rent-controlled at just £2.50 a week.

Liverpool days

This was a time where they both worked hard but found plenty of time to enjoy, with friends, all the entertainment London had to on offer at the time. But a job offer as Company Secretary for Barker and Dobson in Liverpool saw the first of many moves over the next 13 years, and now with his daughter Sarah on the way, Barry worked hard to progress his career.

Life in Liverpool and then Formby in the late fifties/early sixties also offered opportunities for new friendships to be forged and clubs to be joined. Barry enjoyed acting with the local dramatics society, an interest which he continued for many years. Sue and Barry also enjoyed dancing at the Cavern club, though maybe not when the Beatles were playing. Barry also enjoyed watching Liverpool play at Anfield; the birth of son Johnny during this period up north helped to cement a genuine connection to Liverpool FC, a team he has always supported since then.

Shell Mex and BP

In 1961, Barry joined the London division of Shell Mex and BP and so began a long a very successful career with Shell in its various phases, and in many locations, including SW Divisional Finance Manager in Bristol and culminating in his position as Financial controller for Shell U.K. He was always very proud of being a Shell man and appreciated the many opportunities and benefits that the company afforded its employees.

Although he found the many changes and restructures he went through in his working life a challenge he went above and beyond to ensure that the staff were looked after and this concern continued post retirement with his work for the Shell Pensioners Benevolence Fund, helping to bring relief to families of Shell pensioners who had fallen on hard times. As with his many other voluntary activities post retirement he brought his financial skills and experience from his working life to provide a valued contribution to all who worked with him.

Despite his high pressure working life, Barry was highly active in the outside world. While Sue was instrumental in forging many new friendships in each of their many moves, Barry helped maintain those many friendships, not least through his prodigious Christmas card list that he continued until he was no longer able to write and which Sue has now taken over. The couple always enjoyed hosting parties and dinner parties and Barry’s mixture was notorious for livening up their annual Christmas party. He also spent a lot of time visiting and supporting his mother and brother and other members of the family so it is no wonder he did not have time for golf until he retired. But he was an active member of the Ashtead squash club, taking special delight when he managed to beat those much younger than himself.

Back with the OHRFC

The family’s move to Ashtead in 1970 allowed a reconnection with the Old Haileyburians Rugger club with many Saturday afternoons spent at the grounds in Ruxley Lane; Barry often running the touch line, running on with the bucket and sponge and cheering the teams on. His connection with the club is long and legendary with periods as Captain and Club Chairman; he was instrumental in bringing innovations to encourage wider membership and make better use of the facilities. In recent years he was delighted to see the quality of the rugby and the club administration get stronger and stronger.

From the many tributes received by the family, there is no doubt Barry has been the OH Club’s no.1 supporter and servant, in his latter years attending most home games with his son Johnny and his family, rugged up outside the clubhouse, ready with jugs of beer at the bar if the OHs were victors or even sometimes when they were not. A few years ago he even went on a tour with the players, something that did not happen in his playing days, but as they say….what happens on tour stays on tour! The family were touched and delighted to hear that on the Saturday after Barry died the OH teams joined for a minutes silence on the pitch in memory of him. He would have been greatly honoured by this tribute.

A fulfilling retirement

Barry spent his final working years as Finance Director of the Shell subsidiary Billiton before taking an opportunity for early retirement. He had lost his own father when he was quite young and was saddened that his mother did not get to enjoy all the things they had planned for their retirement and he was most determined to make best use of his time, which proved longer than he could have hoped for. A set of golf clubs on leaving Shell paved way for a long and happy connection with Tyrrells Wood Golf Club for both Sue and Barry and a reconnection with many friends in a different context. Another close and trusted group of friends, the Clever Clogs, were united by their love of golf and dogs, with many golfing holidays at Trevose and, at one period, daily walks on Headley Heath with their furry friends.

Barry kept busy and engaged during his retirement. He became Treasurer of the Leatherhead United charities and a Governor of Greville Primary School. He joined many groups in U3A, NADFAS and in later years a house group of this church. He also found time to act as accountant for businesses of Johnny and Sarah’s husband Geoff for many years. His service to Haileybury School continued as a Trustee and finally President of the Haileybury Society. With colleagues in the Society he worked on reframing the constitution and established the charitable status of the Society. His professional expertise was invaluable in managing the society’s finances at this time.

A favourite quote from Hilaire Belloc, often employed by Barry in his speeches, speaks volumes for his gifts and his legacy of warmth to his friends:

From quiet homes and first beginning, out to the undiscovered ends,

there’s nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.

This obituary is an edited version of the eulogy delivered by Barry’s son Johnny at Barry’s funeral in March 2019